I could eat a cow, a pig, a chicken, or a fish and not think twice….but accidentally losing a little yellow pet fish down the kitchen drain two days ago haunts me.  It was a Thursday night and I was home with 3 out of 4 kids.  I was sitting reading Tony a book…which should have been the red flag there.  I can never sit down and read Tony a book because Maria is usually there grabbing it away…but dammit I was going to finish that book.  Sure enough, I go downstairs to see she had dumped all the fish food in the tank.  So I have to lug the plastic tank up with two kids underfoot.  My abnormally low blood pressure goes up pretty high when these type of things happen.  Following protocol, I get the fish in a separate container and get to work.  The tank looks pretty good…so I put the fish back.  The water that the fish were in was dirty…so having a temporary moment of perfectionism, I decide to slowly dump a little out of the tank.  Oh dear Lord, a little yellow fish has slipped out and is flopping about.  I quickly dismiss using a pincer grasp to pick him up barehanded, afraid to squeeze him and grab for a spoon…I get a fork.  Try to scoop him with a spoon, but it is too late…he has slipped into a small gap in the drain.  Oh shit.  The combination of that and realizing that Maria has just put her whole fist into a jar of peanut butter makes me cry.  Tony has made mention of the incident to Joey, and I think it will be better coming from me.  FAIL!  Obviously Joey has inherited my emotional genetic fibers.  He sobs for this poor fish and we hug…hard.  I suddenly feel for my mom as there were some childhood pet fails that I’m sure she had to endure a little mommy guilty from.  It then occurs to me that I could never be a paramedic. One kid thinks we should buy another little yellow fish, while another says he was irreplacable.  The other little yellow fish seems irritable and chases the other orange pair around.  The goldfish shakes his head at me.  We wouldn’t have the other fish if it weren’t for the goldfish.  Tony won him at the Early Childhood fair in April.  I’m pretty sure the next time I go to Wal-mart I will buy mommy guilt fish partners.  Joey is now content thinking that the fish is in the Rock River, possibly to be discovered by a passerbyer who will scoop him up and adopt him…when he is older he will understand sewage systems…I wish I didn’t.   Yep, pretty sure I can’t handle being a pet owner, I’m just busy enough figuring out motherhood.  R.I.P Little Yellow Fish may you swim with the fishes and be reunited with your little yellow fish descendants in fishy heaven.