Overheard Comments at the Local W*Mart

Overheard Comments at the Local W*Mart

Written By: Andrea Angileri

                Look…we all know what the ‘W’ stands for, are familiar with the viral pics, and have our own feelings behind it.  I’m not here to promote any social awareness…I’m way too tired for that.  Truth is the W*Mart is close in proximity and I like to save money…so I can splurge on things like time shares, plastic surgery, and doctoral programs.  Here are copy and paste from a ‘could of gone further’ group I started on Facebook in 2008.

May 1, 2009   Two separate conversations about a relative ‘doing time’

 February 6, 2009  Have been to W*mart about 4 x in the last week. Of what I remember one night I had two carts at 10 pm at night and in the parking lot one of the wheels got ‘stuck’ and I looked down and found it was ‘stuck’ on used diaper…nice.

January 11, 2009 “PAPI….BANDAIDS!!!!”

January 11, 2009 1/11/09 

At first I just overheard several irrelevant comments like, 

“There’s never enough food at home”
“That ain’t nothin’ but fat”
“Do you guys want pop or Gatorade with your lunches”

Then at the checkout I heard
“Oh My GOD! You don’t like Arby’s sauce?!”

12/30/08 Went to W*mart around 6:00 pm. Took my 1 yr old. he did pretty well but wanted everything edible that I put in cart. I had to bust open a box of goldfish crackers. I didn’t overhear anything but “He dropped his sock” and “Is this yours?” after Tony’s loose Christmas slipper socks fell off about every aisle. I might have heard something from the people in front of me, but my Spanish is not that great. The lady behind me struck up a conversation about the Chicago Bears. On the way out I heard a distant “Son of a Bitch!” Then there was me grumbling because the sleet was hitting me in the face and I realized that I had Goodwill bags hogging up the trunk. 

Pretty uneventful though.

Here’s a space for you to leave your own overheard comments….

 

Witty Wed Motherhood

My daughter is going through the Punky Brewster phase.  Punky Brewster was an adorably headstrong girl who had mixed match fashion sense.   I don’t remember Punky changing 10 times a day or  screaming alot, but there are similarities.  Take today for instance, I lay out a cute pair of jeans, a pink long-sleeved shirt, with socks to match.  Maria favors the inside out watermelon summer dress with pink and orange leggings, and purple socks.  If she only could bear sitting for a comb through her hair longer than a couple minutes maybe we’d see pigtails.

Socks.  I always wondered what happens to a freshly opened package of socks.  Now I know.  McDonald’s play area happens…running outside without your shoes on happens….throwing a sock behind the couch happens…the large basket of orphan socks happens.  Punky was known to wear two different colored socks and two different shoes…on purpose.

Punky wasn’t…

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Chronic Caillou Cut-Down Collection

Chronic Caillou Cut-Down Collection    Image  

Written By: Andrea Angileri

            In addition to coffee, Netflix, and Bruno Mars, I notice a tendency to refer to Caillou in my facetweets (tweets that transfer to my status updates).  Obviously,Caillou is an easy target for parent bloggers who have been forced into watching the Canadian cartoon.  Once when I was in a certain green room for a certain talk show one of the production assistants turned on the T.V….and obviously Caillou was on. 

“Ugh, not this show” I said as the wardrobe guy and his assistant came in.

 “Huh, never heard of it” they both said. 

People in fashion without children do not know who Caillou is and if they saw their wardrobe they would balk. 

I fear one day I would accidentally have someone having something to do with Caillou bump into me on Twitter.  I would then profusely kiss their ass and they would calmly put their hand on my shoulder and say, “It pays the bills, eh?” and then skate away in their hockey gear while waving the Canadian flag.

Anyways, here are the collection of directly or indirectly Caillou mentions:

 

“The snow soaked through my knit boots making my socks wet and squishy…it’s about as comforting as Caillou’s voice.”


“My daughter is sitting next to me watching Caillou while spreading pretend lipstick on her lips from a rounded Nerf bullet …what a bad ass”

 

“Hey Maria- Remember that time last week we stayed up after midnight watching ‘Caillou’ because you had the stomach flu and after you finally dozed I was left awake watching shows like “Three’s Company” and “Quantum Leap”?….and then again last night with the late night ‘Caillou’ because we were up nursing an achy left ear who gave birth to your tube?…Then the Tylenol with Codeine kicked in and the ear felt better, but Tony came up crying with some random discomfort. So after he dozed off you were happy as hell playing with  toys and tapping your little finger on your chin saying, “Hmm..Let’s See” (which made me laugh despite it all)…….yeah….good times….”

 


“Oh Caillou….. Quit your whining! That goes for you too Rosie!”

 

 

Clementine’s older brother is an extremely patient kid..Caillou and Clementine keep hanging near his room interrupting various music lessons.”

 
‎24 hours ago I was awoken by an announcement of somebody’s bloody nose, 5 hours later by a preschooler requesting new pants, 12 hours ago I helped rescue my son’s goldfish (who was stuck in the faux aquarium coral) with a slurpee spoon…after a less dramatic day that included pumpkin pie, laundry, ‘Annie’ and ‘Cailliou” on a loop, and some down time with the fam, a couple chick flicks were a great way to end the night.”

 

 

‎”What about Gorgonzola?!”..Ugh..being held sleep hostage watching PBS Sprout. I’m actually starting to ‘care’ about Caillou and his family…him and his whiny Alopecia ass.”

 

“Cuddling with coffee, crackers, and Caillou.”

 

‎”I’m just a mom of 4…each day I grow some more…it’s never boring..I’m Andrea. So many things to do…each day is something new..I share them with you…on Facebook. Facebook…you’re Facebook…I’m Andrea….That’s me!”

(Caillou verse 2), “My wheels are turning…posting each day…with little Maria I’m bound to go gray….Raising kids is not so tough…but 4 is quite enough…credit to moms who..have more…than 4…Te-re-sa and Lisa……Jessi!””

 

”Have to take the kids to the store today….’toilet paper, light bulbs, socks for Rosey, craayyonns’..(only diehard Caillou watchers got that one).”

 

“It’s a morning full of ‘C’s—Coffee, Caillou, Cooking Chicken, Checking emails, Closet Cleaning…..Coasting…”

 

 

Is getting a little tired of her  wardrobe, but considering all the Caillou and Berenstain Bears we watch around here it will do.”

 
 

“In addition to ‘Never before seen’ episodes of ‘Caillou’, Netflix instant stream has added classic like: ‘Malcolm in the Middle’, Wonder Years’, ‘Family Ties’, and ‘Quantum Leap’….I’m just saying I have statistics homework to do.”

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Witty Wed Motherhood

All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from ‘Dumbo’

Written by: Andrea Angileri

One of my daughter’s favorites at the present moment is 1941 Disney flick ‘Dumbo’.  One of my childhood faves, it’s not hard to see why.  Here are some lessons to learn from ‘Dumbo’.  Disclaimer: Obviously the images are all from Google and even more obvious the list will go from sentimental to sarcastic humor.

  1.  It’s Not All About Being a Princess.  Dumbo is not about being a princess or being in love or meeting Mr. Right.  It gets away from that, which is just fine for little girls.  It’s about learning to love and embrace what is different from you and learn to let it work for you.

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  1. We’re All Different and That’s O.K.  If you replace Dumbo as a child with special needs you will instantly begin to tear up.  Here is an…

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