Written by Andrea Angileri, Ed.S
It’s happened again. I have lost my wallet. I’ll take an estimated guess that I first gained and lost a wallet around the age of 12 or so, so that would make it 26 years of the same old same old. This time…it was a kid…I swear it was…I can smell it. I wish it was the wallet that smelled…because then I would find it a lot faster. No, I’m pretty sure it was a quarter hoarding kid that moved it, because the last time I saw my wallet it was opened on a short dresser. I remember closing it, quickly shunning a child, and then there’s just this big black hole.
After day in and day out of taking my wallet in and out of the car, my husband’s car, and various purses and work bags, it doesn’t surprise me. And obviously the fact that there is a brand spanking new driver’s license in it….well…I have lived with myself for 38 years…this is my life. So that’s why when I’m tempted to panic, get mad, and scream obscenities to the dust bunnies through the shadow of my cell phone light I will once again remind myself that this is just not that important in the whole grand scheme of my human experience. It is merely a temporary distraction and a reminder of what’s more important in life.
I will say a prayer to St. Anthony, and trust God because I know that when I need my wallet the most, it will resurface. I know (from experience) that replacing my driver’s license for $5 versus spending hours of precious time and energy worrying is a damn fine investment. I know that my insurance card will be renewed this month. I also realize that I really have no business at all using my debit card anyways, and all the other little cards are just for decoration any more. And then in true Witty Wed Motherhood form, I will turn this all into a spiritual metaphor.
There are times in our lives where we will experience lack. Whether it’s financial, emotional, spiritual, relational, mental, there will be some time somewhere in our lives where we WILL experience lack. It might show up as paying for gas in quarters, a void in our relationships, or just not finding what we want and need at the moment. It’s at these moments we will be tempted to experience a ‘lack attack’. A ‘lack attack’ is basically a melodramatic melt down that can occur as a quiet haunting whisper or manifest into a loud roar of a pity party. It takes a lot of discipline and practice to realize that even though we don’t FEEL something, it is still there and will resurface when we need it most. For example, I know my wallet is in the house…it is…I just can’t find it. In the meantime, what can I learn (besides about being more organized and responsible and shut up about all that blog audience I mean the nerve)?
Lack can be maddening, but to sit there and and let the ‘lack attack’ win is a waste of time. Yes, it’s a pisser, it’s getting in the way of things we want, need, and probably deserve, but I dare you to look beyond that. We can understand our part in why the lack is here, try to headlock the habits that caused it, and ultimately try to do better next time..or maybe the next time…or maybe the next time. The ‘wallet’ will resurface or it can be replaced, temporal materialistic things are just that way. While we look for the lost things in our lives, we will find other things. From the literal missing sock to all the other real stuff that we are truly made of, but don’t make yourself dizzy looking for it. Turn off your cell phone light, get up off the floor, and refocus. It’s time to bathe in your blessings, wash off the lack attack residue and be pruny with the knowledge that our blessings are too bulky to be stuffed into a missing pocketbook anyways.